Living off one teat or another - John McCain and his money

Before we reached our sophomore year of high school, my best friend’s parents had built themselves a new showpiece home, bought a ski house in New Hampshire, and a beach house on Nantucket. It wasn’t uncommon for a family in Weston, Massachusetts to own a second or third home and whenever someone’s parents were in the market, it was definitely a topic of conversation in the cafeteria at Weston High. That’s why it blows my mind that John McCain thinks I’ll believe him when he says he doesn’t know how many homes he and his wife own. He must really think I’m stupid.

The question was put to him last Wednesday and it wasn’t complicated or even nuanced. A reporter wanted to know how many houses the McCain’s have. The Senator’s response was priceless. “I think – I’ll have my staff get to you. It’s condominiums…I’ll have them get to you.” I hadn’t heard a more ridiculously convoluted statement compressed into so few words since Hillary Clinton’s “I did not say it should be done, but I certainly recognize why (he) is trying to do it” gaffe on driver’s licenses for undocumented immigrants. Any McCain supporter who likes him because of the whole “Maverick” thing has got to be seriously reconsidering voting for this guy because the wheels have come off the Straight Talk Express.

His mumbling, stuttering answer to what may be the simplest question anyone will ever ask him also undercuts the argument about his experience. The most skilled American politician of the last half-century is speaking this week in Denver and he would have handled the question much differently. I’m not talking about Barack Obama or even Bill Clinton, I’m talking about Ted Kennedy. He would have mentioned the compound in Hyannis Port, the one in Florida, their place in Washington, and whatever else they own – but he would have done it right away. That’s what a truly experienced politician does with an uncomfortable question: answers it directly the first time and never again.

Contrast that to how John McCain handled it. First, he bungled the answer to the question. Then his response didn’t come in a statement from his staff, but in an interview his brother gave to a local cable news network in Washington, D.C. Joe McCain claimed that it’s the women who run the finances in a McCain household saying, “the person who took care of all the business was my mother. My father had no idea about the family business, what oil leases he owned in Oklahoma.” Note to Joe McCain: when your brother lies to a reporter to hide the fact that he and his wife are so wealthy that their grandchildren’s grandchildren won’t have to work and you make a statement referring to your family’s oil leases, you’re not helping.

John McCain almost got it right when he talked to Katie Couric over the weekend. She asked how it could be possible for him not to be able to recall how many houses he owns and his response was, “first of all, let me say that I am grateful for the fact that I have a wonderful life.” Then he spewed some crap about how his wife’s late father worked hard and made a bunch of money after the obligatory reference to the time McCain spent in Vietnam “without a kitchen table.” Then he mentions how grateful he is one more time. He’s grateful Cindy didn’t care that he was almost twenty years her senior – and married to another woman – when they started seeing each other and eventually tied the knot with him despite the fact that he’s an adulterer? I guess if I was John McCain and I had married a trust fund baby with daddy issues who was still in diapers when I graduated from high school, I’d be grateful, too.

When asked how much money a person would have to earn to be considered rich, McCain said, “I think if you’re just talking about income, how about five million?” In John McCain’s America, if you make $2 million you’re middle class, if you make $250,000 you’re poor, and if you make $50,000 you’re screwed.

He can’t relate to the average person because he’s never lived in the same world as the average person. The government provided all of his food, clothing, shelter, and medical care when he was growing up. Then he went into the Naval Academy, served in the Navy, and became a Member of Congress. So everything he’s ever needed has been provided by the taxpayers. Basically, the man went from living off the government teat to living off of Cindy’s. It’s no wonder he’s out of touch with the 99.5% of us who will make less than $5 million this year.